Daddy s rules for dating pdf printer
The camouflaged face at the window is mine. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Old folks homes are better. The camouflaged face at the window is mine Thought you guys might enjoy this.
But, before you even think of dating my daughter, you'll have to fill out the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Presently I have no way of confirming this.
If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
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